by Skip DeKades
[caption id="attachment_1349" align="alignright" width="198" caption="Retton accepts nomination at GOP convention"]
[/caption]
San Francisco, September 4, 2028 ? Mary Lou Retton last night accepted the nomination as Republican Bobby Jindal?s running mate in the presidential election, after thrilling the crowd with the floor exercise and vault that won her a gold medal in the 1984 Olympics.
?Let?s see Angelina do that,? the West Virginia governor said to cheers after finishing her routine on the stage at the Moscone Convention Center.
Speaking to an enthusiastic throng of delegates at the Republican National Convention, and to a national audience riveted over a scandal involving her personal android?s affair with a human construction worker, Gov. Retton used the stage to show that she has the physical agility and athleticism to serve as the vice president, even at the age of 60. It was the first time in history that a vice-presidential nominee performed a gymnastics routine at a political convention.
Retton spent much of her speech talking about her athletic and acting careers (she appeared in the films Scrooged and Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult); her successful battle over hip dysplasia, arthritis and an overactive bladder; and her years of serving as a wife, mother, physical-fitness ambassador, member of Congress, and finally West Virginia?s governor.
She said that Sen. Jindal is best equipped to lead the country because he isn?t a heathen like Democratic nominee Angelina Jolie. Retton took several jabs at the Democrats? criticisms over her lack of experience as a politician on the national stage.
"Since our opponents in this presidential election seem to look down on my athletic experience, let me explain what the job involves,? she said. ?I guess a world-champion gymnast is sort of like an action-movie star, except that you actually do your own stunts.? That was not only a retort at the Jolie campaign, but a dig at Jolie?s own experience playing heroines in such movies as ?Mr. and Mrs. Smith? and the ?Lara Croft: Tomb Raider? franchise.
The governor also defended her foreign policy experience, which her critics say is lacking.
?West Virginia is like a third world country,? she said. ?So in essence, I?ve been governing a developing country within a developed country.?
In remarks to reporters after the speech, Jindal was asked to respond to bloggers? criticisms that Retton?s speech lacked substance and was too heavy on issues irrelevant to the vice presidency.
?Well, that?s an unrealistic expectation,? he said. ?We?re Republicans. We don?t do substance.?
You'll always find substance at Humor-Blogs.com.
Check out the new Humor Bloggers dot com.
Original source: http://futureupdate.wordpress.com/?p=1347
