My friends, I beg you to consider an idea of mine that could save our planet. I would like to create just one more month; a 13th Month. I propose creation of FUNTOBER (fun-TOE-bur). December 26th through December 31st now become the best 6 days of the year.
Here's how it works. By taking the wretched, windblown, depressing, grey, and utterly dismal last week of December to create our new month, Funtober, we will help the world in ways you and I cannot yet imagine. It would require an act of Congress, to be sure, but it could well be the smartest thing they've done in 10 years; sorry, make that 50 years.
- First, we get to play with all the cool stuff we got from Christmas,
- Second, there'll be no need to rush back to the stores on December 26th. Hey, you now have an entire month before New Years to return those useless Christmas gifts. Voila!
- Third, suicides will plummet because there won't be any depressing week after Christmas in which to get depressed. (Are you beginning to feel the magic here?)
- Fourth, it'll take the heat off my poor friends who don't celebrate Christmas. During the Christmas Celebrations they'll be shopping for the upcoming Funtober Celebrations, celebrated all across the world.
- And who, then, could overlook the financial impact of these added shoppers on the American Economy, eh?
Frequently Asked Questions About Funtober:
- "How will you pay for Funtober, Congresswoman?" Congressional Answer: "I give you my word that Congress will generate a wonderful tax rebate stimulus every Funtober, not just for this generation of Americans but for our children and our children's children."
- "Who will do all the hard work during Funtober, Congressman?" Congressional Answer: "Well, nobody, duh..."
- "Won't people be let down at the end of Funtober, Madame Speaker?" Congressional Answer: "When we celebrate the end of Funtober on New Year's Eve, nobody will even notice. Trust me."
So, there you have it. Even Congress will approve of Funtober. I mean, when you consider all the Bills that pass through Congress now, how much crazier is this one? I hope you have a happy Funtober this year.
Original source: http://thinkamerican.wordpress.com/?p=38
