I couldn't sleep and the darnest thing came to me. Carly Simon. You're So Vain.
"You're so vain, I bet you think this song is about you..."
Genius lyrics; so smart it took almost thirty years to figure out what she was talking about. She was talking about some guy who most likely listened and wondered, "Is she talking about me?" I guess if he listened long enough, he'd know, especially when she started spilling details about the time they spent together. And even then he probably thought, "Is she talking about me?"
I know someone like that. Everything is about him, even when it's not. Especially when it's not.
He's exceptionally gifted at convincing himself that he's doing something for someone else when, in fact, he is doing whatever it is for him. Perform an ordinary task of kindness or courtesy for him and if it doesn't suit his needs, he'll tell you for your sake. Cross one of his 932 boundaries and he'll correct you, because it would be 'unkind' not to tell you the 'truth.' Cry to keep from cussing him out and he will suggest that it's your period because after all he couldn't possibly be the problem.
All about him even when it's not.
My godmother, Bunny, always says that selfish people don't think they are selfish. They think they are justified.
I don't do that kind of selfish. So on the day he told me to 'lighten up,' which was crossing the sixth of my five boundaries, I decided to do just that. I sent a text message that said simply 'I will lighten up.'
And I did. I left him alone to believe whatever the heck he wants. I gave him the space to keep it all about him even when it's not; especially when it's not.
It was one of those things I had to do for me.
Best, Robin
fiftydaystofifty@gmail.com
Original source: http://fiftydaystofifty.wordpress.com/?p=217
