with myself was a bang on good time. I received an extra day off this past weekend. The weekend was really a stretch for my comfort zone and my wallet as well. I have learned I am an emotional spender. Not one of those manic depressive types where one spends $10, 000.00 in a binge only to fall into a deep depression. Although that would give me a deep depression too had I started spending like that. I find myself to be overly frugal for fear of not having a roof over my head and needing a rainy day reserve.
I am not a homeowner so taxes are really high for me. I wish my dog was a dependent but he's not so, I'll keep giving half my income to Uncle Sam.
Nevertheless, I knew my day off would be spent babysitting my mum, so I made Saturday and Sunday my play days and did the cooking, cleaning, washing the car, clothes, etc. and went to purchase a good skin cream. I also needed a few supplies for a bridal makeover I was doing on Sunday.
All you Fab at 40's listen here. There is no major difference in the skin we are in and those of our youth. Sure, there will be many variables but, I did makeup for a bridal party and the same issues we share are those shared by the up and comers. I used loads of concealer for both undereye bags and dark circles. I also noticed that the elasticity of the 20 somethings was very similar to woman who claim to have crepey lids. The skin around the eye is quite thin in many instances, a good primer can help but the elasticity, in my opinion, is genetic. That should give some of us a bit of peace, not to mention all of the rules that we are supposed to cater to. I don't believe it's necessary to keep hair shoulder lenghtor shorter, to steer away from any make witha frost finish any more than I would say that all younger women should sport micro mini skirts, hair to their waist and sport airbrushed tans. These so called rules should be looked at on a case by case basis. Regardless of age, if you don't have the body for a mini skirt, the setting is inappropriate, or you find your bum hanging out, that's a fashion don't. Women, let us love the skin we are in and learn to accept who we are and know that beauty is over 50% confidence. Confidence is something you can't buy, it doesn't come from a lipstick or the number on the scale, it comes from within. I can't tell you how many males have told me that it is quite sexy to be intimate witha woman who is not self conscious of her body. The more relaxed and at peace she feels about her body, the more enjoyable the experience is for him. Feel free to try this and come back with comments. I'd be interested in knowing if this is true; however, since I am sans partner, I can only go by what I have been told.
Another adventure was the one I planned for my actual 40th birthday. I went to a local bookstore, grabbed a few glossies, ordered a cinnamon and apple cider, sat down and scanned the pages as I scanned the people. I have deduced the reason I am not in a relationship is that I am not ready. I have too many things I need to come to grips with. I know what they are, and if I am with a man today, tomorrow or never, I think I will be okay with it. Each time I begin to long for the arms of Mr. Big or Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome, I think of all the things I hated during a relationship. For instance, I don't have to "check-in" with anyone and spend time on the phone rehashing my uneventful day. I can watch football with no makeup, wearing my Hello Kitty pj's, hair in a bun, and eating munchies without feeling like I "am letting myself go." Blech! I can also go to the mall and shop and not feel like my lover is obliged and because I know he's not remotely interested in a sale at (fill in the blank) I don't feel rushed or guilty for making him feel he shouldspend quality time with me. Hey, I am sure he can find something in the plethora of stores, but the odds are he can get all he needs in less than 15 minsand remember where he parked. Me? I take fifteen minutes to pick a store. I really do feel for those men I see with their girlfriends holding hands and helping to decide if her ass looks to fat in "these jeans" and what shade of pink should she buy her fifteenth lipstick in. I gotta give them credit. I grew up in a male household and my father would sit in Sears watching the game while he waited for my mother. Then she'd come to him to carry her spoils and direct him to the next mall he was to chauffeur her to. The look on his face when she showed him her recent purchase for another pair of shoes to add to the collection of similar but not quite black heels she hauled was priceless. What did she expect? Was he to high five her and do a little dance with her? Women why do you do this? Men don't care about shoes. The ones that do are going to give you trouble in the long run. At first he's interested in your shoes, barring a foot fetish, then you will find he has better taste than you and you will feel like the next American Idol reject care of Simon Cowell. I say this to prevent you from being a guest on Dr. Phil trying to get the "magic" back in your relationship. It went away the minute you stopped being his shopping buddy and arm candy. Stick with the men that are less fashion smart, why should both of you critique your style?
I also think that relationships scare me. I believe in being honest, and I honestly don't want a relationship. I don't want to lose me right now. I know you aren't supposed to lose yourself in a relationship, but when you compromise you do. There are some things you have to give up, I don't want to give up having to make time for another person. I know some say that is why it's harder for older women to get or find love. To that I say, so. I know that men don't like giving up boys night, flirting, time at the gym and random acts of kindness and cute text messages "just because." I am being honest.
I have learned a lot about men and I don't judge them for being the way they are, they are wired so much differently than women. There is no way to make a round peg fit into a square hole. We communicate differently, our thoughts on relationships are different, relationships take work and those who have been in long term relationships and weathered the storms I applaud.
Signing off for today! Live. Love. Laugh.
Original source: http://turning40feeling20.wordpress.com/?p=24
