My little guy is very hip - he's taking a yoga class. It was my aunt's idea - she loves yoga and the studio where she goes was offering a kids class. We are always looking for ways for the little guy to socialize and interact with other kids and since the yoga studio is right across the street from our house, we thought why not.
Tonight was our first class. I want to state for the record that I did my due diligence as a mom. I e-mailed the instructor explaining that my little guy was on the Autism spectrum. I spent the last few days explaining to the little guy that we would be taking a yoga class and that yoga was all about stretching and moving like animals and it was really, really fun!
Now - as you can imagine - since yoga is pretty granola, it tends to draw a very peace, love, and happiness kind of crowd. So as the other kids and their moms showed up...well...lets just say that the air was thick with patchouli. One of the moms arrived in full abaya gear with her two little girls. I heard her tell them that they were going to do some yoga, then it was time for prayers, then they were going to the grocery store. A very diverse and tolerant crowd for sure. Which I am so very down with!
I was happy to see a familiar face. One of the moms from last year's pre-school class whose son is also on the Autism spectrum. So little guy would have a buddy in class. Awesome I thought - this is going to go great! As the minutes ticked by, I was relieved to hear no screaming or crying or sounds of breaking glass coming from the yoga studio. I started to relax and chat with the mom I knew about how far our little guys had come and how well they were doing.
I was feeling pretty good about my abilities as a mother, truth be told. I reflected on how hard we have worked with the little guy, how we had put on a brave face at every set back and never lost faith that our boy was going to be OK. That we were doing everything right by having him interacting with "typical" peers and that while he might act differently than other kids - really he was just the same if not BETTER than his typical peers! And I thought how when little guy gets early acceptance to MIT in a few years, we will look back at all our worry for his future and laugh.
The 45 minutes of the class passed very quickly and before I knew it, little guy along with the rest of the class were walking out of the yoga studio. Little guy was walking hand in hand with the very svelte, very blonde, very attractive teacher (typical) and had a huge grin on his face. I also noticed that one of the little Muslims girls in the class ran to her mother's arms sobbing. Instinctively I knew - we totally had something to do with that.
The teacher stopped to talk to Abaya Mom about why her daughter was crying. With one eye on Abaya Mom's daughter, I asked little guy if he had a good time in class. He told me yes he had. I asked his little friend from pre-school (who was giggling hysterically) what he liked best about the class. He said he liked it when they all laid down on their mats and little guy yelled, "Goodnight!" and started fake snoring. My ass crack immediately started sweating. I asked pre-school friend's brother (who was also in the class) what he liked best about yoga. He said he liked it when little guy lifted his foot to his nose, smelled it, and rolled over on his mat yelling, "It stinks!". My ass crack began to sweat even more.
At this point, I noticed Abaya Mom looking in our direction and glaring. Jesus Christ and all the loaves and fishes! What else did the little guy do in there? As soon as the blood flow returned to my face, I approached the teacher and introduced myself. She put her hands on little guys sholders and started to talk about how adorable he was. Oh shit - this is going to be worse than I had even imagined. Great - I said - how did he do? Dead silence. For at least 90 seconds. And when she started to talk, she started out with a long drawn out, "well..."
Long story short, he pushed the little Muslim girl and made her cry. And now she doesn't want to come back next week. And this is sort of a hate crime - because she's Muslim. In addition to committing a hate crime in a damn yoga class - he was doing all of his best "material" pretty much the whole time. He started with a little fake coughing, went right into the fake burping, and for his grand finale - fake puking noises. And while every one was very amused, there was very little enlightenment happening.
We are going back next week to give it one more shot - but we are probably going to be bounced out of yoga class. Really nice.

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