I have not.

Apart from my snide comments, insensitive opinions, and trivial topics, I am a human being - to some extent - and I do care about the people that I love. The truth is simply that while I know about the evils of this world, I have not personally experienced the worst of them. While I have had relatives die, none have that touched my heart. While people close to me have been driven to drugs as an escape, I have not ventured far. And while I hear of murder and rape, I have not experienced these things.

The reason for bringing up such personal topics to so many, is that I have heard of a close friend of mine (who I have lost touch with since graduating high school) has recently being diagnosed with leukemia. Upon hearing the news while running into an old mutual friend at school, I was entirely speechless for perhaps once in my life. I couldn’t think of anything to say, and I literally simply couldn’t think.

It’s been a few days, and I still haven’t mustered the courage to call her up and talk to her. What’s more is that I attended a charity ‘fashion show’ of sorts put on by The Wellness Community of Arizona and IIDA , unknowingly, for a cancer program. I feel as if this is being shoved in my face.

But still I can’t find it in myself to talk to her. Out of guilt? Pity? Selfishness? I am a human being, I am selfish, I am a hypocrite, and I am cruel. But most of all I am scared and I feel as if I have failed her by not knowing, by not keeping in touch.

Such a lively girl with a generous spirit shouldn’t be subjected to such a thing.

But life is a cruel master.

I now feel for those who have lost. For those who have dealt and who have come through stronger. I admire those who find the strength to fight and to prevail.

I hope.