Today is the National Stand Up To Cancer day. Since I know people with cancer and am running to fight blood cancers, I ought to write about Stand up to Cancer Day.
I visited last night with a dear friend who has had cancer for 20 years. Sandy (not her real name) goes through lengthy bouts of chemotherapy, rests a while, then starts all over again. It started as breast cancer and mastectomies, then moved to her lungs, then her hips and her back. We're glad it's not in her brain or liver or spine but it's just about every place else. The PET scans light up like a Christmas tree on her. I didn't know you could go through so much chemotherapy, two years at a time. I mean, at what point do the doctors say, Nope, can't do it any more? Or the patients?
Well, Sandy keeps fighting. But she has a bad tooth infection that is keeping her from getting chemo and this latest cancer isn't getting the treatment it needs. And the handiride blew her off and the bill collectors are relentless. So she's been having a hard time. I picked up some prescriptions for her last night and stayed to visit a bit, and she gave me a gold chain with a crucifix on it. It's real, it cost her $200. She bought it 20 years ago when she was first diagnosed with cancer. She wanted me to have it.
I hoped that didn't mean she was beginning to give up. But she told me it was just too heavy on her neck, any more, and she knew I would know how special it was.
I met Sandy about four years ago when I was a Mormon Relief Society President. Sandy is not a member of our church but she came to us for help with rent and medical bills and groceries, and we gladly gave it to her. It was short-term church assistance but she had cats and I have cats, and so we got to be friends. One of my friends, Peggy, owns a cat clinic so I've sort of introduced Sandy to Peggy. Peggy graciously gives her free veterinary care and at-cost prescription cat food. And I run around once a month to pick up the food and litter and run any other errands Sandy needs.
Sandy is actually younger than I am but because of so much illness, she looks much, much older. She gains and loses weight and it's mostly from edema. She is pretty much alone in the world. She was a bookkeeper so at least she lives on slightly more of a disability income than most, but she didn't have great relationships, endured a lot of abuse, and wound up without family and friends. She knows her landlords and her "pharmacist" (that's the fellow who brings her street marijuana), and a bunch of people she meets in forums on the Internet... and me. I was always saddened that, after she first came to the church for help, she called me in the middle of the night to take her to the emergency room. How sad that you have to call a virtual stranger when you feel so sick.
I've had some important wake-up calls as a result of knowing Sandy. For starters, just because she's destitute doesn't mean she takes advantage. Unlike so many people that I've helped, she has never asked to borrow money unless she could pay it back on her next check. And she doesn't ask unless she's desperate. She went weeks without decent food because she was afraid I would sacrifice my own comfort to make sure she could eat, so she went without. (And darned near killed herself, because of it).
For another, that marijuana thing. I used to judge that. Used to think she could get a prescription for the components in marijuana so she wouldn't have to smoke it. Used to think she could easily get that medical permit from her doctor. Then I saw her go months without it. She wasted away from nausea and pain and her mood, of course, sank through the earth to China. Found out how much the co-pays were and how her insurance wouldn't pay them. Realized how hard it would be to pay for the medical permit and then that medical marijuana isn't cheap, either.
So, I don't want to be around when the deal is going down, I call her in advance so she can air out her apartment before I get there... but I can't judge her on it, any more.
And the last thing... she genuinely cares about other people. In all her distresses, she remembers what's going on with me and calls to see how this or that thing went. Now, that's rare.
Sandy stands up to cancer by slowly working her way through online college classes and planning what she's going to do when she graduates. She stands up by never quitting on getting the right medical care, never giving up on chemotherapy. She stands up by never forgetting her humanity, she remembers her online friends and constantly gives me names of people to pray for. She stands up by caring for six precious little kitties, she would spend her last dollar on meds for them if they needed it.
I think we could really beat cancer if we supported the efforts of those who are intensely looking for a cure. There are so many causes in the world... Let us at least find one cause and give it our best. For people like Sandy.
Original source: http://shecanrun.wordpress.com/?p=425
