I bought a new pipe from the Thomas Hinds Tobacconist in Yorkville. I usually avoid Yorkville because it's full of rich people and I usually avoid Thomas Hinds because it's no exception.
I was once treated rather shoddily there because I was dressed rather shoddily --it being 30 below zero and me being out of tobacco--and I never forgot it. I will hold a grudge. It's what I do.
The tobacco at Thomas Hinds is about ten dollars more expensive per tin than at Cheers. For the same tobacco. No one other than the Calvinists has ever thought people have more money because they have more brains or morals. Usually, they're just lucky.
Besides this, one's tobacconist is a bit like one's tailor, barber or bartender. You want to build a relationship with them over the course of years. So they don't judge you based on your hat or winter coat. These people may see you at your worst and most desperate. It's important they know what's going on.
But, the main part of building a relationship with a merchant is reliably spending money. Personality does not go as far as you might imagine. We all work for cash. Not smiles, compliments or good feelings. Cash. But, once the relationship is built, they give you deals, know what you like and how you like it, put things aside for you and engage in the correct amount of conversation. If you're not obnoxious, that is.
Last year, my tobacconist gave me a Christmas gift. And, knowing my palate, he can always make a good recommendation. It's a pleasant arrangement and I wouldn't change it. I never ask for anything other than ability. That's the most important thing in staff. I always endeavor to avoid being obnoxious. That's the most important thing in a customer.
One day, I hope my friends will come on this journey into decency with me. As it is, they seem handicapped. Some of these people even get thrown out of bookstores. Others should be.
But that's anther story.
A few weeks ago, when I walked into Thomas Hinds, I felt as if I was cheating. Still, it never hurts to see what else is on the market and I occasionally enjoy one of their hand-blended tobaccos. If my regular tobacconist is my wife then these guys aren't even my mistress. More like the odd lap dance.
I perused their pipe selection and spotted a Chacom Monza Billiard. I quite like Chacom's pipes. They look better than they smoke but they still smoke quite well. And this one looks dandy.
"The Chacom Monza Matte Billiard features a fine matte black stain, and an aluminum ring fashioned after the valves of Formula cars that have graced the Monza Grand Prix for generations. The overall look is sleek and lightweight, modern yet elegant."
What appeals to me most is the modern look. Although the pipe is an old and conservative thing, it's well suited by fresh designs and bright colors. Just not both at the same time. Chacom has a good grasp of this.
And I noticed, while looking through the internet, that my tobacconist was called "sometimes a a bit rude." This is nonsense. Even if it were true, it might be because he's qualified and the person who wrote the post asked some outstandingly idiotic question. It's possible. The customer is usually wrong.
When I was at Thomas Hinds, some fellow with more money than sense was attempting to buy a pipe and was, of course, asking all the wrong questions. The staff were affably participating in his stupidity but did not even know where Brigham pipes were made. After they both provided him with the wrong answer I stepped in.
"Canada."
Not like they've been made here for over 100 years, have a pipe called "The Canadian" and whole series of pipes named after areas in Canada. Like, that may be a clue. I would have went over to talk to the fellow but was afraid of ending up with a new job. Or throwing him out. It's totally irrelevant where a pipe is made.
It's exactly the sort of question someone asks when they know nothing but are afraid to show it. Better to find out what tobacco he smokes, what he considers strong or weak, where he plans on smoking it and how he ranks aesthetic versus practical with an eye to the shape of his face.
What he wants to know is unimportant if he doesn't know anything. The merchant's job is to help him find out what he should know. Not to coddle him.
The staff should never be so friendly that they encourage this sort of nonsense. The poor fellow wanted to learn. A more appropriate reaction to: "Where is it made?" would be "Get fuck out of here." Or, perhaps better: "Canada. But it doesn't matter. Tell me, what sort of tobacco do you like?"
But, instead they fumbled about, gave the wrong answer and turned to me. I'm going to think twice before I stray away from my tobacconist again. Things are the way they are because it's the best way for them to be.
I made sure of it when I chose him.
Original source: http://thegrumpyowl.wordpress.com/?p=2346
