I started out writing this blog about the wants and needs of my life so i can segue into the fact that a want in my life is to smoke but I need to quit, but it was too damned complicated and bored the shit out of me. So, here it is, I'm quitting smoking. Albeit, I have tried to quit smoking on three separate occasions.
1. Summer of 2007: I was doing a musical called ""Working" The Musical" and I needed to sing, so I quit smoking so my voice would get better. It did for a while, but it didn't stick. Next show I did, I started smoking.
Estimated Smoke-Free Time: 3 Months
2. August 2008: I was visiting my grandmother and grandfather in Texas and neither of them knew I smoked. Being hardcore republican cowboys, one would think they wouldn't give two shits. But, I am their grandson and they love me something fierce, so, they do. Anyways, I quit as soon as I got onto the plane in Lexington. You'd be amazed how easy it is to quit smoking when the constant reminder that everyone you know smokes isn't slapping you int he face. So, i quit... until I got back.
Estimated Smoke-Free Time: 1 Week
3. September 2008: I had decided enough was enough. My singing voice no longer can hit those Freddie Mercury notes and dammit, the Bowie notes are going fast, so I decided to quit. I set my date of quitting to be the Friday of that week, hearing it was the better to set a start date. I drank some beers with a friend, watched a movie, and smoked one last cigarette. I then laid down, for a full eight hours of sleep.
Estimated Smoke-Free Time: About 8 Hours
So, as you can see, my track record is all over the place and comically getting worse. So, I decided to turn to medication. Upon learning that there isn't a medication that will stop me from wanting to smoke, I decided to turn to the patch. The nicotine patch that is (Is anyone else running the Beverly Hillbillies theme in their head also?).
I slapped on the first patch and had a sense of accomplishment. I wasn't going to smoke, why would I? I had that nicotine being transferred into my bloodstream slowly over the course of 24 hours, saving me from needing a cigarette. I was good... At least for the first day.
Day two on the other hand wasn't so good. I, unknowingly, slapped on a new nicotine patch even though the old one still had nicotine in it. Now, it's not what you think. I took the old one off, apparently though the nicotine is still on your skin and absorbs over a course of 3 hours. So, for three hours, I was getting a concentrated double dose of the N Factor. Needless to say, i felt very damn sick.
Day Three. I decided I did fine in day one and two, so I tried just not putting on one and not smoking. It was a resounding success.
Day Four. I go to Molly Brooks pub. It's my favorite place to get a beer in town. It's within walking distance, it has my favorite beer (Smithwicks) and the bartender knows me and doesn't card every time I walk in... Oddly enough, this is a huge selling point to me, even though in reality it doesn't matter. Anyways, I'm running lines with a friend of mine and I'm doing good, then three Irish dudes come out and smoke next to me. I failed to put on a nicotine patch, for fear it would make me sick again, so i sat there, with no defense, except for my sheer force of will. Well, if you know me at all, you'd know my sheer force of will is shit and I decided to have one cigarette for old times. So I did. Two hours later, I had smoked twenty cig's back-to-back (I wish I was lying when I say this but I have a witness to back me up). It was safe to say that I fell off the wagon, then rolled for awhile. I felt like shit, physically and mentally. I can home, rocked out at a game of Scrabble, then passed out in my bed.
Day Five: I knew I couldn't beat smoking without some help so i went back to the patch. Now, this is when it get's wierd, it made me very, very sick. All night long at rehearsal I was nauseas as hell. I even took the patch off and threw it away, then washing the spot it was at to feel better. I didn't. So, maybe I just needed to some beers and the Paddock was having $5.00 All You Can Drink (seriously, how the hell do you pass that up?). I was enjoying myself, I was on drink two, when I began feeling sick. Then, I noticed everyone around me is smoking and I'm getting the second hand. I tried to block it out, but I couldn't. I thought, maybe if I had a cigarette, then maybe my sickness would go away (addict logic 101). I put the cig in my mouth and began to feel as if I was going to vomit. I hadn't even lit it. It was just the thought of me smoking made my bottom cry mutiny.
So, I left early and now I'm sitting at home, blogging about something that kinda irked me. I love smoking. I really do, it's a thing that can get me out of bad situations. It makes time go by quicker, gives me something to look forward to on breaks and it's the greatest topper ever to a nice evening. But... Even though I want to, I don't think my body can handle the nicotine anymore. Just typing about the damned thing makes me nausea. Maybe I've ODed on nicotine for the last couple of days. Maybe I've finally convinced my mind I shouldn't smoke anymore. Maybe I'm getting the flu. Whatever the reason, one thing's for sure. I'm going to quit smoking.
Original source: http://zackhightower.wordpress.com/?p=142
