Nicin...as in I WANT A FUCKING SMOKE!
Im not going to break but its getting worse. They say on all those damn stop smoking websites that cravings only last 3 to 5 minutes. Well let me be the first to tell you that 3 to 5 minutes feels like a fucking hour!!!!
Wanna know what happens when your body wants a smoke?
Have you ever been so angry that you felt like you had the power of the Hulk? Have you ever just wanted to beat the living crap out of somebody or something? Have you ever felt like every muscle in your body was tense and contracted to the point that you shake when you move?
THATS WHAT IT FUCKING FEELS LIKE!!!!!! AND IT FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!
Im sorry, I don't mean to yell but I really just want to punch a wall till my knuckles bleed. I can't sit still, and every time that god forsaken phone rings I just want to throw it.
Why is today so bad. Because I can't use the patch, they give me migraines. The gum tastes like shit, and I cant afford a prescription so Im cold turkey. I've slowly been trying to ween myself over this past week. And I've been trying to make myself go a little longer each day before I smoke. From 8 to 5 I only get 3 chances to smoke. Once on the way to work, once on my lunch break and then again on the way home.
Usually Im fine with this. But this week I've been making myself go just a little longer each day. You know,ait till lunch. Then the next day, wait till the end of lunch. Then the next day wait till you get off work. Then wait till an hour after your home.
Today, is the wait till Husband comes home. OH DEAR SWEET JESUS, IM NOT GOING TO MAKE IT! He won't be home till at LEAST 8 o'clock tonight. Thats till 8 hours away!!!!! Im not going to make it. Im not!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!
Original source: http://mebeingrandom.wordpress.com/?p=133
