I used to smoke.
I picked up the habit after dating a guy who smoked regularly. We worked together and on lunch break we would sit across from each other, he would smoke, and I would wonder why. I picked up a pack of Marlborough Ultralights and a lighter a couple weeks later and tried my first cigarette outside on my balcony shortly after New Year's. It wasn't for another week until I figured out how to inhale them.
The boyfriend left and the cigarettes stayed. I gradually switched from a light cigarette to Kamel Red Lights. I never was a heavy smoker, but I couldn't go through my day without them.
My grandparents found out when I moved in with them for a little while. After three days I couldn't do it anymore; I went outside, sat on the front porch and enjoyed the wash of relief as I smoked it down to the filter.
Eight months after I started the habit, I had to quit. It was making me sick after six weeks of pregnancy; I quit cold turkey.
Two months ago I started back to school, started a new job, and moved all within a week; I picked up the habit much too easily after two years of being smoke free.
Today, at this moment, I have been 72+ hours without one. I'm proud of myself. If I can get through this week without one, I'll make it.
Now if I can just get my weight under control. I've gained fifteen pounds and can hardly fit into my clothes, and I'm not comfortable. So, I'm waiting for that book to come in so I can start the new diet. I just want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see.
The woman I want to be has more control than I've exhibited over the last several months.
Original source: http://littlebirdie484.wordpress.com/?p=74
