While driving in my car yesterday, the song Better Man by Pearl Jam came on the radio. I cranked it up and started to cry. I thought to myself I strongly doubt if I will find a better half for me. In a single moment, I dissolved my self esteem to nothing. I felt alone and desperate. I wanted to go to the local watering hole and drown my sorrows away. Instead I did something that I thought would make me feel better. It worked for awhile and then I lost myself in my misery once again. I came home and crawled into bed feeling alone and rejected. I escaped into four hours of sleep. MMMMM I am not as young as I used to be. I'll need a nap this afternoon if I am going to go out on another quest for a better man tonight. This time I'll put on some makeup. I found a tube of lipstick in my leather jacket last night when I was fumbling for my Tic Tac Chill. If I am going to find a better man, I need to start looking the part. Makeup always does wonders for me. But I have to say that over the years I only put on the makeup for family occasions and holidays. I need to treat everyday as a holiday. I remember wearing makeup every day when I was in high school. I caught many an older guy. I know that I still have it within me. This time I want to meet a younger man......Just wondering if there is a younger man out there for me.
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