Since my husband and I made the (very difficult) decision that I would homeschool, there haven’t been many free minutes in the day. I’ve always wanted to be a teacher and always respected the profession, so much so that I didn’t think I would be capable of educating my sons with their different ages, needs and abilities. It is not easy and I’m still finding my footing. I wish more than anything that I could find a suitable school program for the boys that teaches more than just what is required to pass a standardized test, where they would feel socially welcomed and included, and that wouldn’t cost the equivalent of my husband’s 4 years at Georgia Tech in tuition. Sadly, I don’t think any such program exists here currently.
I’ve gone through my own stages with this. The first was anger and resentment (as expressed in my last post) - how could these Florida politicians show their faces knowing their school system is discriminatory and serves no one well? Why should parents be forced to create alternatives? The second was a bit of excitement - I can do this! The boys will get an awesome education! We’ll fill our time with fun and creative activities they’ll love and have play dates for socialization! Then, reality - I’m too exhausted to have play dates, plus the nearest people we know live an hour and a half away. Creativity requires energy and I haven’t got any. Trying to make things interesting and keeping the kids engaged is hard work. Should I let them work together or will that cheat the oldest or challenge the youngest too much? I still don’t have the answers to these questions, but I’ve learned a lot in these first weeks as ‘Professor Mom’.
First, there are so many resources for home education on the internet that it’s overwhelming. You could teach an entire year of school with the resources on pbs.org alone. We’re lucky information is so readily available, but I need to employ some kind of internal filter to avoid the ‘drinking water from a fire hose’ feeling. Second, I do love the freedom from a rigid schedule. I see the school bus pass our house just after 7 every morning. When we lived in Vancouver, it was a struggle to get them out the door by 8:30. I have no idea what state of alertness they would be in if they were at school at 7:30 (eating lunch at 10:25 am, no less). When I called to make dental appointments, I was able to take the earliest one because we didn’t have to worry about conflicts with school. Also, I plan to take our ’spring break’ when my parents visit at the end of February, something they may have waited to do if the boys were in traditional school.
But the most important thing I’ve learned so far isn’t about schedules or materials. It’s that my kids are really, really smart. I’ve always tried to be hands-on, helping with homework and studying for tests, but this is a whole new level of involvement on my part. I’m seeing with my own eyes what I’ve always believed. My son Robert has all the hallmarks of autism - very delayed language, social difficulties, anxiety and lots of ’stimming’. Most people would have no idea what he’s capable of doing. I found myself looking at his math curriculum (called JUMP Math) and thinking, “How am I going to teach him this? There’s no way he’s going to understand this.” Then I sit down with him and show him how to do it once. And he does it. By himself. Fast. Almost effortlessly. Sometimes he’ll do 5 problems with 5 minutes of stimming in between. I don’t think any teacher, no matter how good or patient, could wait or anticipate or learn his patterns the way I have. I hope he will benefit from it.
For Joe, I have enjoyed taking things that were previously difficult for him and breaking them down into a way that’s easier for him to understand. He learns quickly but struggled with the distractions of 28 other classmates and was always too embarrassed to ask for help. I want him to feel good about himself, his own intelligence and his ability to learn.
Things seem to come pretty easily to John so far. I sometimes worry that I’m not challenging him enough. It’s also hard to keep him focused, motivated and interested. I can’t imagine teaching a classroom full of kids like John! But I can clearly see the benefit of some of his obsessive tendencies - he’s already memorized the Presidents, their dates of service and their political party, not to mention the state capitals. (Having been in Canada for 3 years, I thought we should catch up on some US history and geography.)
My biggest fear is that I don’t want to cheat my kids out of a great education. It’s the foundation upon which they will build their future. I can’t let them down.
Peace.
